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November, 2008:

Australia 2007 Post 9 – Cairns to Kuranda to Port Douglas

Monday, Aug. 27
On the Captain Cook highway,  I’m in the right seat and I feel like a 15-year-old learning to drive again – all that’s missing is my mother swatting me in the arm with a rolled-up newspaper while screeching “We’re only TWO MILES from the next stop sign! Slow down!”
Here’s what’s odd about driving in Australia, no matter what side of the road you’re on: Superhighways are rare, and people drive slower. The Captain Cook highway is four lanes at its widest.
We headed north and turn off toward Kuranda, a small town that’s tucked away in the mountains just west. The road is very narrow and twisty, and several times we get caught behind some old scrap heap laboring and wheezing its way up the road (which really is only about 3,000 feet in elevation change). But the Ozzy drivers are pretty nice people (so long as you’re not a pedestrian), and the pull to the left (wrap your mind around that…) to let faster cars pass.
Though it’s only about 22 miles, it took us a good 45 minutes with a slight construction delay. For us, the Venom Zoo was the highlight of Kuranda. Otherwise, it was all pretty much touristy shops. We took a nice walk to where the scenic railway from Cairns shows up into town. We logged a good five miles of walking through some of the tracks and through the countryside. The view toward the dam and Barron Gorge is pretty awesome.
But back to the [...]

Australia 2007 Post #8 – Darwin to Gove to Cairns

A note from Wandering Justin: I had a little lapse in posting this week … lots of freelance work to finish! Also, the next entry or two won’t have many photos. I tend to take fewer photos in the cities.
Saturday, Aug. 25
The previous night, our foursome had decided to meet at the Parap Village Market. That’s about a mile-long walk from the center of Darwin. This market goes on every Saturday, and it’s a good way to dig into the Asian flavor of Darwin. There are booths with cooked food, pre-packaged stuff, fresh fruit, vegetables and ingredients you can make yourself. There’s a lot of the usual schlocky weekend market stuff, too…hemp clothing, jams, bad art and the like.
But I ate a bunch of stuff I’d never seen before, and it was all tasty. Couldn’t tell you the names now, that’s for sure. Except I do remember pawpaw salad. It’s pretty much raw, unripe shredded bits of papaya covered in a chili sauce and peanuts. Doesn’t sound like much, but it’s an explosion of flavor.
We were pretty lazy, so we spent most of our time at the market, walking back to town and just hanging about. Orla left for Sydney, but that evening we met Karen again for dinner. She brought some Italian guy, Michael, with her. He was a bit different from us, being about a decade older. And he was clearly looking for some female attention (What? An Italian chasing tail? Never!)!
But still, he was a pretty fun [...]

Australia 2007 – Last Day in the Kakadu

Friday, Aug. 24

At dawn, I found out what makes Sandy Billabong so cool: There is nothing like seeing a sunrise here. The water is cool enough to throw off curtains of mist, and the sunshine filters through them to create and incredible scene that your eyeballs won’t believe. It’s impossible to not get a great photo of it. I am still blown away by the sight. And these photos are very raw: There is absolutely no post-production digital manipulation. These are all JPEG files straight out of my Fuji Finepix S5200.  Enjoy!
English Dave with his bush-style hat cast a perfect silhouette for my photos. I got a few of a German who tagged along behind us. And yes, I kept her away from the billabong lest she become a morning morsel for a croc.

Our first stop was about four miles from Sandy Billabong: It’s called Culture Camp, and a cheerful Aborigine woman named Jenny talked to us about really funny stories, bush tucker (what the native people ate) and various traditions. My favorite was about the husband of an Aboriginal goddess who was so well-hung that following her everywhere made him tired. So he and his prodigious wang settled down while she wandered the continent.
We also learned how to throw spears with a device much like an Indian atlatl, and had more encounters with my friend, the didgeridoo. I must say that I could hang with anybody who worked at Culture Camp.
We still had more to see, so it was [...]

A Little Travel-Planning Advice

This is a brief interruption from my usual recap of the Australia trip … but I think it’ll be really valuable for some of you out there planning a trip.
Sarah and I have been working on a trip to New Zealand. We read the book Kiwis Might Fly (which is a tremendously fun read), we saw a Kiwi politician quoted as saying “Whenever a New Zealander leaves for Australia, it improves the IQ of both countries,” and we saw the awesome scenery in Lord of the Rings. With all that going on, how can you not want to see New Zealand?
My first job was to sniff around for flights from Los Angeles. I searched all the airlines, and the prices were pretty grim. I was really hoping for a good Qantas deal since they fly there and we both have nice chunks of mileage there from our Australia trip. And Qantas is a oneworld Alliance member, so that can help with a lot of destinations. But I wasn’t seeing any good deals from any of the carriers headed for Auckland.
Since I was getting deal-desperate, I signed up for the Qantas Red Newsletter. A few days later, boom! A two-for-one special. We’ve booked the tickets.
You really should do the same for any airlines serving destinations that interest you. Wanna go to Germany? Check the Lufthansa Web site and see what’s up (and don’t forget to pack a Speedo). Tahiti? Hit Tahiti Nui and see if they have a newsletter. Interested in [...]

How to Talk to Aborigines

Thursday, Aug. 23

G’day, mates, and welcome to the inaugural episode of “How to Talk to Aborigines.” I’m your host, Wandering Justin!
Alright, now … lesson #1. Traditional Australian Aboriginees are quite polite. They don’t like to disagree with people. I’m hear live with Outback Amy. Amy, give us an example then, love!
“I was out in the bush with some aborigine buddies. I found some plant and said to one ‘Gus, I can eat this, right?’”
“Oh, yeah.”
“It’s good eating?”
“Yeah.”
“Will this kill me or make me sick?”
“Well, yeah.”
He didn’t want to disagree with his friend, so he didn’t. If you’re asking an aborigine a life-and-death sort of question, it’s best to be open-ended. For example: “Are there crocs in this billabong this time of year?” rather than “There’s no crocs in that billabong, right?”
You’ll remember this lesson if the need arises, right?
Ahem. I mean, remember this lesson if the need arises.
Okay: So I’m from the American Southwest. I know nasty desert roads. Hell, I survived the roads of rural Costa Rica. But little of that prepared me for the battering we’d take in the Possum today. We got rattled by ruts and beaten by bumps that would swallow lesser four-wheel-drive vehicles. Some rental car companies won’t even let their vehicles into certain parts of the Kakadu. This would be why. How rough were these roads? So rough that we stashed our trailer alongside a fairly civilized road. We’d get it on the way out of Twin Falls.
I’m not ever sure what time it [...]

Intro to Crocs and Billabongs

Wednesday, Aug. 22
Being German near water is the most dangerous thing you can do in Australia.
Starting today, I will start hearing a plethora of tales about German people being eaten by salt-water crocodiles. This theme will continue through the trip, to the point where I’m eyeballing the shower waiting for a swarm of mini-crocs to shoot out of the spigot to devour me. And I’m only half-German. If I were a Speedo-wearing, techno-loving Bayern Munich fan, I’d stay away from this continent altogether. Or at least not get within mortar-distance of a billabong.
But there are no crocs in Darwin, for now. Especially during the pre-dawn hours. My eyes are barely even open when an Arkana Safari II four-wheel-drive truck towing a wagon picked us up. At the wheel is Amy, our tour guide. She looked almost identical to a friend at home (Mary, that would be you!), so I can tell she’ll be a character.

Speaking of characters, we’re a tourist short. So far, we’ve got a 40-ish but sturdy English couple (Dave and Dominique), Orla from Ireland, Fiona from Canada and us. Apparently, Amy and the staff at a hostel have been trying to rouse our last member, English Anna. She was big-time hung over.
Eventually, someone pried her out of bed and tossed her and her gear into the Arkana, which is known as the Possum.
Once Anna is in the car, we’re bound for the bush! The sun was fully in the sky, and traffic cleared quickly as we neared [...]

Australia 2007 – Bleedin’ on Darwin, Tour de France Pee at Lewinsky’s

Tuesday, Aug. 21
Midafternoon
I was trying to keep calm, but I was kind of worried. Sarah was leaving bloody footprints all over the beach, and had also left a trail of red swirling in the water.
The beach two miles from the downtown area seemed nice enough, but there were lots of sharp rocks in the water. And Sarah was unlikely to slice her foot open on one. I tried to look casual as I sort of speed-walked up to the lifeguard. I mentioned that she had a little cut on her foot, and could he take a look.
Remember that Stereotypical Australian Bloke I mentioned? Well, this lifeguard – chubby; long-haired, laconic- was another. We started walking back to where Sarah was waiting a few hundred feet away, medical kit in hand.
“There’s no bleedin’ allowed on me beach!” he shouted as we walked.
Sarah cocked her head in confusion, looking puzzled even at long range.
“I said ‘stop bleedin’ on me beach!’” he yelled. This time, she heard him and was hysterical with laughter. Sarah asked him if he’d seen any crocs.
“Naw,” he drawled. “I haven’t seen one in hours!”
Let’s just say that he made a bad situation much more fun and memorable in a good way as he patched her up.
The day started off pretty routine: breakfast at one of the ubiquitous Coffee Clubs and some general walking around, scoping out didgeridoos, bush hats and last-minute items for the start of tomorrow’s adventure.
Darwin. What an odd place. It’s like a beachfront college [...]

Australia 2007 – Entry #3

Monday, Aug. 20
NOTE: Not many photos in this entry. I chose not to lug the camera around during most of the day’s walking around Sydney.
I honestly didn’t expect to freeze my goolies off in Australia. Now, keep in mind, August in Phoenix is like being 10 feet up a dragon’s poop chute, but brighter. And when I think of Australia, I think of the arid parts of it.
But Katoomba is again rainy and socked in with fog. Unpleasant? Hardly. But this desert creature was unprepared. But no matter … we were soon on our way back to Sydney.
A few hours later, we found a place to stash our packs at the train station and began searching for Redoak. This pretty much turned me into a psychotic Captain Ahab, and I began wondering if the place really existed. I hadn’t fired up my GPS receiver, preferring to conserve its power for the Top End adventures.
So we got turned around. Misplaced. Hungry. Cranky. We made an emergency stop at some fast-food kebab place. And either it was really good, or we were starved silly. It went down pretty well, and gave us the energy to continue our quest for the one pub to rule them all.
Finally, we discovered Redoak! Oh, my, this place is good. The oatmeal stout is unearthly, with a hint of butterscotch to it. The Belgian chocolate stout and the holiday ale are also contenders. Some of the best brews ever. If we didn’t have to catch a flight, [...]

Australia Post #2

Saturday, Aug. 18
I like my coffee a lot, and my coffee likes me. That means I want to taste the coffee, not have it buried under sprinkles, whipped cream and a bunch of fake pumpkin-spice flavor. I didn’t know this when we booked the tickets, but that meant Australia would be just right for me.
First, though, I had to learn to speak the language. Unless you’re at Starbucks, the names won’t be what you’re used to. And most of the good drinks are espresso-based. Now, if you like a plain americano, order a long black. If you like a latte, order a flat white. Mochas are the same, but a lot less sweet than you’re used to. And probably less bitter, so you won’t need the sugar to compensate.
We also filled up on some pastries to get ready for the Maritime Museum, which is a complete blast. We both like sailing stuff, so we have a great time touring the destroyer Vampire, submarine Onslow and a full-sized replica of Capt. Cook’s Endeavour. There are all sorts of fun displays inside, too. Frankly, there was more there than we had time for. Tickets to get on all the big boats are $18 each.
The Vampire was pretty fun because it felt like we’d stepped straight into the Disco Era. All the recreational areas were brown and “gold.” The Onslow was typical submarine fun for a guy my size … lots of hunching over to squeeze through hatches, and nearly banging my head [...]

Australia 2007 – Phoenix to LA to Sydney

This is the first in a series of posts about my 2007 trip to Australia. Note: All prices are in Australian dollar. This travel log is rated PG-13 for occasional strong language, crude humor and fierce creatures.
For years, Sarah and I have talked about going to Australia. The barriers of money and time, though, can be tough to overcome. We finally decided that, when she passed the bar, we’d finally go for it. And go for it, we did.
Read this, and you’ll get some idea of what it’s like Down Under. It might even be a good map for your own antipodean journey. Yes, I’ll start you off with the ride down there. Boring? Maybe … but you might get a few tips for how to stay sane while aloft for 15 hours. The really cool stuff happens outside Sidney, so stand by!
Wednesday, Aug. 15, 2007
For us, every great adventure starts with getting our collective tuchus out of Phoenix. We grabbed a 6 o’clock fight to LA. Of course, there was a 45-minute delay getting into the air. It seems the flight path was too crowded with other planes to LA. Go figure.
No matter. The flight to Sydney wasn’t scheduled to leave until 11:15. Plenty of time to get from one gate to the other. Of course, it was typical Southwest cattle-call, round ‘em up, move ‘em out fun that reminds me of just how much I dislike domestic air travel.
During the taxi, we passed a Qantas 747 at a [...]

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