5 best places to beat Arizona’s summer heat

I am so in denial right now. The nights here in Phoenix are still nice and cool, and I almost need to wear a jacket in the morning. In a few weeks, I’ll be leaving a trail of sweat everywhere I walk. What’s now a pleasant 7-mile run will turn into an epic festival of dehydration.

Oddly enough, though, people still come to Arizona in the summer. Even more oddly, it is completely possible to visit Arizona -even in August- without being confined to the malls. Here are my inaugural Best of Arizona Summer Awards:

Best Place to Feel Like You’re in the Midwest, but with Hills: Prescott – It’s just 96

miles away, but it’s like a different universe. Pine trees, hills, small lakes and a Midwest-style town square flanked by restaurants, bars and kitschy shops. There’s a lot of outdoor activity – hiking, biking, birding and fishing. Be sure to visit the Prescott Brewing Company. You can also rock out at Sundance’s Place, which is near the famed Whiskey Row. Prescott also boasts The World’s Oldest Rodeo and genuine and general Independence Day Mayhem. The outskirts are a bit charmless, but the rest of town is pretty cool.

Best Place to Blow Off Shaving Body Hair: Flagstaff – This is slightly further than Phoenix at 135 miles away, and ever-so-slightly more fun. It’s home to Northern Arizona University and

some of the state’s finest mountain bike trails. My favorite nearby spots include Government Cave (aka Lava River Cave) and Sunset Crater National Park. And I can’t resist a stop at The Black Bean for burritos. The San Francisco Peaks tower over the town, adding a very dramatic, post-volcanic apocalypse flavor. There’s a very hippie-granola feeling here. There are several great microbreweries and just a lot to do. If bars aren’t your nightlife choice, check out the Lowell Observatory.

Best Place to Get Abducted by Little Green Men: Sedona – You can actually hit Flagstaff and Sedona on the same trip, since Sedona just requires you to turn off the I-17. Sedona is a bit more toasty to the ol’ thermometer, but you will be very hard pressed to beat the scenery: Layers of limestone in alternating colors, hoodoos, spires … incredible natural majesty, along

with really cool afternoon micro-storms that sweep in. I like the Soldier Pass area for hiking and biking. If you like paranormal stuff or just enjoy laughing at people who do, Sedona will keep you riveted. Check out the Vortex areas (more than one … that’s Vortices, yeah?) for all sorts of New Age happenings. A great place to eat is Picazzo’s. Sedona is also a great place to be a mountain biker. Or a photographer. If you can’t get a good photo here, I will personally come to your home to confiscate your camera.

Best Place to be Someone’s Huckleberry: Tombstone – Tombstone will shock you. It’s the home of the infamous gunfight at the OK Corral. I always envisioned a flat, wind-whipped stretch of desert. I mean, it’s actually in the southern part of the state, closer to Mexico than

Phoenix! But this place is all about rolling, green hills and mild temperatures. It’s not quite Scotland, but it’s not what you’d expect. Seeing the corral is actually kind of anti-climactic. This is right near Arizona’s wine-growing region. It’s also cool and quiet. One section of town is closed to motor vehicles, and the only emissions you’ll encounter there are the kind that will make your shoes smell bad and people laugh at you. That’s right – horses only!

Best Place to see French Women Try to Hike in High Heels: The Grand Canyon – Judging from the steady stream of Germans at the wheel of rented Cruise America RVs pointed north on I-17, the Grand Canyon needs no introduction. My oldest brother had his first helicopter job there, flying tours over one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Cynics say it’s a big hole in the ground. I say, “NFS, Poindexter, but a Caterpillar couldn’t dig that in millions of years. That’s nature, baby!” The international contingent adds to the scenery. I’ve seen people trying to hike the Bright Angel -I kid you not- in high heels! Havasupai Falls is one of the canyon’s highlights. Make sure you have fresh batteries and an empty memory card for that camera … it’s gonna need ‘em.

Honorable Mention: Greer – Greer is a tiny but tony town near Sunrise Ski Resort in the east-central part of the state in the Mogollon Rim Country. There’s not much to do. The food’s not great. It’s expensive. But it’s also quiet, cool and fairly wet, being the closest thing

Arizona has to a rain forest. This is also where my 20+ year feud with Horsekind ended, and we forged a new era of peristroika and glasnost. It scares me that some among you might not know what I’m talking about!