Recently, The Cranky Flier wrote about the airline El Al (which seriously sounds like it should serve flights to the planet Kypton) creating a super-low economy section by charging for services normally offered for free. This “unbundling”, as it’s known in industry parlance, would charge for things like snacks and drinks. I’m assuming there’s no upcharge for seat belts and barf bags.
And I just complained about the ludicrous prices of hotels in much of the First World – the United States is my most egregious example, but western Europe is hardly a bargain.
Why not put the ideas together? That is, unbundling hotel services. I can’t take credit for this idea – it was the ever-practical wife’s suggestion when I told her about El Al.
I’d completely be willing to forgo telephone services, irons in the room, cable TV and a bad continental breakfast. Hmm, I guess “bad continental breakfast” is redundant. I’ve always thought that first a pastry is a pastry – then it gets stale and becomes a “scone.” Once the scone solidifies into a rocklike mass surpassing diamonds on the Mohs scale of mineral hardness, it winds up on a tray in a hotel’s continental breakfast spread; only the brutally acidic coffee on display is caustic enough to break it down for consumption by some humans. But I digress.
That seems a nifty solution to what I consider the really poor values that are most hotels.
Here’s a question for you: What standard hotel services would you forego to knock some [...]
August, 2009:
What Hotel Services Could You Live Without?
Beware the Jumping Cactus – or Any Cactus, Really
I broke one of my cardinal rules of mountain biking today. Which one? Well, just the one that states:
Don’t do anything stupid, like run into cactuses.
See, I was on an unfamiliar trail. I was looking too far ahead on the trail, trying to determine its contour and direction. I was examining all this so carefully that I failed to notice the exact nature of the flora toward which I was whizzing – I thought it was a palo verde, at worst. Not big deal, but a little thorny.
Nope. This was the legendary cholla, or jumping cactus. And it is a cast-iron bastard of a plant.
I was blissfully unaware of the nature of this plant until it smacked me in the left forearm and left lower leg. Almost immediately, my arm started swelling and blood started oozing out of my newly ventilated skin. One large ball from the cactus was still stuck in me. I opted to dislodge it with a careful flick of the finger since not many of the spines were attached.
Then I yank the remainder out by hand since they were all big enough to grip … I didn’t need the big ol’ Leatherman tool in my Camelbak.
I was pretty okay at that point, except the swelling at the impact point was getting really big. It looked like I had a marble under my skin, or like a tiny alien was ready to burst out and start singing “Hello, my baby – Hello, my honey – Hello, my ragtime [...]
American Hotels are a Rip-Off
I was somewhat excited about an upcoming trip to Boston. Then I started researching hotel prices.
Check this out:
1 night in a generic hotel in Boston = $210
Now contrast that to these (bear in mind that I generally travel just slightly off the peak seasons, but not much):
1 night in a British Bristol freighter airplane turned into a hotel in New Zealand: $160 Nz, roughly $85 US
1 night in a two-room suite with kitchenette in Queenstown, NZ: $150 NZ
1 night at La Mansion, a spectacular hotel in the jungles near Manuel San Antonio, Costa Rica: $150-$350 US (FYI, this place is super-deluxe. Ex-presidents stay here. It is not a (long string of expletives deleted) Best Western or Holiday Inn.
1 night in a slick backpacker’s lodge in Tongariro National Park, NZ: $40 NZ (call it $25 US)
1 night in a super-awesome eco-lodge in the rain forest of Belize: $85-$105
1 night in a sleek, modern, convenient hotel steps from downtown Cairns, Australia: $115 AU (call that about $85 US).
Seriously, are American hotels trying to price themselves out of consideration? If so, they’re doing a grade-A job of it. Factor in the fact that, to reach most foreign destination, I have to fly a foreign airline with better service and that I LOVE long flights, and you can see that American hotels will get my dollars only when family obligations require travel within this country’s borders.
If you’re a traveler, vote with your wallet. Take your dollars off-shore. Maybe that will get the message through.
So You’re Going to Australia … 11 Handy Tips
I know of more than a few wise people who are following my advice and heading really, really far south. Good on ya, as they’ll say in Australia. Rather than just hording my favorite tips for family and friends, I’ll share ‘em with all of you.
1. Airline tickets – Australia’s a bloody big country, and it’s also very empty in the center. If you want to visit a few cities (and you should), think about something like the Qantas Aussie AirPass. I couldn’t find anything similar from Air New Zealand or V Australia – that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist – call either airline and ask if they have something to compete with Qantas for multi-city visits.
2. Eating in the air – Don’t bring food. None of the Australia or New Zealand-based airlines will starve you. In fact, they’ll try to stuff you full of food, fresh fruit and free beer and wine. You’ll even get breakfast. Also, being a big island, Australia is determined to keep foreign stuff away. Even your snacks can pose a threat to the Australian ecosystem, apparently. So away put your trail mix – you will not be needing it.
3. Clean your outdoor gear – I showed up with dirt from my local trails on my hiking boots. This was met with extreme disapproval by the Ozzy customs agents. Again, it’s an ecosystem thing. So arrive with clean gear.
4. This isn’t the usual coffee – Australia has a pretty distinct coffee culture. Rarely will you [...]
48 Hours in Flagstaff
Flagstaff has saved the sanity of many people from central Arizona. We know that, even on the hottest, most brain-baking weekends, respite is just two hours away up the I-17. That means you can squeeze relief from triple-digit temperatures into just one weekend.
Here are some tips for desert dwellers looking to get the most out of 48 hours. Out-of-state visitors can also use this to get their plans started.
Where to Stay:
Flagstaff has a little something for everyone when it comes to accommodations. Even the cheap hotels are pricier than they should be, but we’ll just have to grin and bear that. There are enough decent hotels that you shouldn’t have trouble finding a place. In fact, I’m not even going to name any specific hotels.
Here’s what I’ll do instead: I’ll tell you to mind the railroad tracks. The closer you are to them, the more you will hear train whistles and the roar of enormous diesel locomotives. Let the tracks be your guide. Unfortunately, some of the more fun places are walking distance from the tracks, too.
Usery Park Offers Great Trails Close to the City
Unless you live in the Phoenix area, the only time you’ve probably heard the phrase “Maricopa County” is in relation to its relentlessly self-promoting sheriff, Joe Arpaio. I’m not going to dive into that can of worms except to say that he doesn’t exactly do much to foster warm, fuzzy feelings for the county government.
That’s a shame for the Maricopa County Parks crew. This system of more than 10 parks isn’t perfect – but it is outstanding. I am constantly thankful for the county parks department, and all it has done to provide a lot of quality outdoor recreation for residents and visitors alike. I feel like it’s a bargain to hand over my $6 whenever I go into a county park (See a complete list of fees). Huge props to the county parks staff, especially for McDowell Mountain Regional Park. That one’s my favorite by a long shot.
Today, I’m focusing on Usery Mountain Regional Park in Mesa (we’ll get to McDowell in a future post). This is getting you close to the famous Superstition Mountains, and within very nice sight of the Four Peaks Wilderness Area.
Airline Update – Phoenix to Jamaica
Wow, check it out! There’s now a new international destination from the Nation’s Least International International Airport (aka Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport).
This one comes to us from US Airways, which is offering seasonal nonstop service from Phoenix to Montego Bay, Jamaica, starting Dec. 17 and running through April 12, 2010. That’s aboard an Airbus A319 – so some of you won’t being going, I guess!
I can see this being a smart move – Jamaica is a nice destination, and this allows us to skip a stop in Houston or Dallas (which we’d have to endure with other airlines). I imagine it’s seasonal service because it’s mind-numbingly hot and humid in Jamaica during the summer.
I was kind of surprised at first that an A319 has the legs for that trip. But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made: From Phoenix, 737s can reach Alaska and Costa Rica. That’s not much of a stretch. But hey, I grew up in an era when 767s went from here to Chicago.
Segway Appeals to Unholy Trinity of Geeks, Tourists, Mall Cops
Hey, remember the Segway? Yeah, the allegedly stable, upright, non-polluting, quiet Go-Kart for big people? It was supposed to make walking a thing of the past (as if we need a reason to be lazier).
Well, pause … NOT!, as Borat might say. In fact, there seems to be only one sector in which the Segway has gained any widespread appeal: tours. They’re pretty popular in Washington, D.C., San Francisco and even in the wine country. I guess in the first two places, the Segway is great for avoiding panhandlers. The wine country, like Sonoma County? Apparently, they use them for wine tours. How that’s a good idea, I’m not quite certain (though you’ll be overwhelmed by the number of hits a Google search of “Segway wine country” will return).
So what hampered this clever machine? There’s no doubt it’s an engineering marvel. But it is unrepentantly dorky. Every time I see a Segway in the wild, it’s always piloted by people who look like they are on the way to a casting call for Revenge of The Nerds: Nerds N2K+9. They look like they grew up having Wil Wheaton kick sand in their faces.
But I think it might actually be Will Arnett’s ultra-hysterical portrayal of George “Gob” Bluth in the series Arrested Development that was the planet-destroying asteroid to the Segway’s dinosaur population. Every time I see one, I think of the failed magician Gob. I can’t help it, and it forever bars me from saddling up on a Segway – unless, of course, [...]
