Today is more than Arizona Statehood Day, or even Valentine’s Day. It’s also the Arizona Centennial. That’s right, Arizona has been a state for 100 years. And don’t let Governor Jan Brewer fool you – she wasn’t here for that first year … though most of her antiquated beliefs and prejudices pre-date 1912 by a long shot.
Anyway, I’m continuing what I started with my Worst of Arizona post. This time, I’ll recognize media and entertainment figures that I want to exile. Here we go!
Jason Rose – When I worked at The Arizona Republic, everyone knew who you meant if you referred to “The Weasel.” He’s been the flack for numerous development projects that required public funds. He’s even represented Sheriff Joe Arpaio, proof that his conscience is languishing with the missing socks of the world. Rose loves the sound of his voice … and asking media members “how’s that for a sound bite?!”. Even those who work in print.
Stephen Lemons – On one hand, New Times reporter Lemons has done a true service in dogging Sheriff Joe at every turn. It’s such a shame that he injects himself into every story and allows the thermal currents to lift his ego to a collision course with the International Space Station. I am thrilled he’s no longer the New Times food critic, where I felt like microwaving a puppy every time he wrote “bill of fare” or “comestibles.” In his current role, though, he still has a green light to call the Phoenix area “P-Town,” which is rusty razor wire that slices into my eyes. He’s probably a decent guy, but someone needs to give the L-Train a heartfelt talk about why he comes off as a douche of legendary proportions.
Esteban – There’s an enlightening New Times story all about Esteban, who claims he’s a student of Andres Segovia. I’ve seen the guy around the Valley too many times to count, each time playing for wrinkled dowagers and milking them like he’s Michael Bolton with long fingernails. If he really is a student of Segovia, then his former master looks down in shame every time Esteban hawks his cheap guitars during infomercials.
Ladmo – I know I’m in the wilderness here. More than one generation of Arizona kids loved Ladmo. But something about his hat and goofy facial expressions made me feel like brain cells leaked out of my ears every time he opened his mouth. On the other hand, I always liked Wallace, his rotund Wallace & Ladmo Show sidekick. His sardonic, often pained expressions screamed that he was the brains behind the show. Fans will swear up and down that the show was packed with satire, but I never got that from it … whereas I lapped up the social commentary in Mad magazine. Oh, well.
Buddy Ryan – He should’ve said “You have a weiner in town.” He couldn’t make the Cardinals win. Neither could Joe Bugle, but at least he had a noticeable amount of humility and decency. Win first, then open your yap. If you lose, at least be gracious. Maybe when Ryan boasted “You have a winner in town,” he was a pscyhic medium peering into the future and giving a preview of Ken Whisenhunt. I am not a football fan, but he’s a coach I can admire.
Coming up next to celebrate the Arizona centennial – Arizona worst-ever criminals!
