A dog poops on a flight and causes an unscheduled landing … and the most-amusing aviation story in a good, long while. Let’s take a look at some of the highlights of the Philly.com story about US Airways Flight 598 bound for Philadelphia from Los Angeles.
All copy in italics comes from Philly.com. Everything else is my commentary.
A Philadelphia-bound US Airways flight, already two-hours delayed, was forced to make an emergency landing in Missouri after a passenger’s service dog defecated in the aisle.
Well, I have to deduct points. It’s an unscheduled landing – hardly an emergency landing (I hope you’re happy, Patrick Smith). But I’m being pedantic. But I would’ve love to been in the tower to hear “Cactus 398, declaring an emergency landing – we have poop in the plane.”
“It was the worst smelling blowout I’ve ever smelled,” passenger Steve McCall told Inside Edition. “It wasn’t little pieces, it was full-fledged dog diarrhea.”
Mr. McCall, “blowout” is a hysterical choice of words. You are my kind of human being. Congratulations, and may US Airways throw a nice chunk of miles your way.
Really, let’s hear it all from Mr. McCall. Take it away, you scatalogical monkey demon, you!
“The second time after the dog pooped they ran out of paper towels, they didn’t have anything else,” said McCall. “The pilot comes on the radio, ‘Hey, we have a situation in the back, we’re going to have to emergency land.’ “
“People started dry-heaving, a couple of people threw up,” McCall said. “The first time was bad, the second time people said ‘You got to get us out of here! This is nasty.’ ”
“You just had to laugh,” McCall said. “It was so outrageous and out of control. It was a story you couldn’t make up.”
This is the sort of interview I dreamed about as a reporter – someone with sense of humor, presence of mind and willingness to say anything. Though after his second quote, I started to wonder if he fed the dog Ex-Lax wrapped in beef just to perpetrate madness that would allow him to say things like “blowout” to a news reporter. I swear, I never would’ve left the news business if I could have just one interview a month like this. But alas, I never got to use a phrase like “dog poops on a flight.”
The story did not mention whether any legs were humped during the flight.