I’m having a great laugh at the expense of The New York Times. Why? It’s article “The 41 places to Go in 2011.”

Why 41? Who knows?

What’s bad about the list? Each choice and its description is designed to make Americans go places and be Stereotypical American Tourists™: Go to Santiago so you can see the Lollapalooza music festival. Go to Iceland so you can listen to an orchestra. Go to Oahu for hula lessons. Go to Melbourne and eat at Gordon Ramsay’s (who is not Australian!) restaurant. Go to Budapest so you can drink in pubs. Visit Thailand and do yoga.

Please. How dull. Vacuous. Intellectually bankrupt. Incurious. Tame.

No wonder Americans don’t travel. From the descriptions, none of these places sound worth braving the ministrations on the Transportation Security Administration. This list exists to suck money from your pockets while doing exactly the same crap you would do in any major American city.

Even when I agree with the destination, I shake my head at the recommended activities. It irks me that The New York Times would recommend sending people halfway around the world to sit in bars. The list is shorn of any sense of adventure. I suspect it’s an article designed to get the well-heeled to book trips with advertisers, all for the purpose of saying at the next wine and canapes party “Well, when I was in Budapest …”

The description of Iceland, for instance, boiled down to this: “Hey, its economy crashed, so it’s cheaper than ever. And it’s getting more like New York – cultured and stuff! You can see an orchestra there!” It contains not one whiff of the drama and rawness of the scenery, the weirdness of a never-ending summer day, the cultural quirks. It patronizes the entire country with a paternal “aw, how cute … it’s growing up and becoming like us.” Nice.

Look, people … if you’re going to travel, get stuck in a little. Break out of your usual mold. DO NOT go to Starbucks unless you need to use the bathroom. Eat something that might upset your sensitive little tummy. Go somewhere off the main tourist drag – and hope you get lost.

And obviously, don’t get your travel ideas from The New York Times if you wish to have any fun on your trip.

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I have not seen the sun set since I left Arizona on Saturday. Seriously, 2 a.m. and 2 p.m. look exactly the same. You definitely keep your energy level up that way, but it is discombobulating.

There will be lots of photos when I return, and some great tips and tales. But for now, just imagine sleeping when it is always late afternoon.

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Planning a trip to Iceland is really hard. Only one airline flies there, which is a major bummer (7-hour flights that don’t include meals … really?). It’s hard to get around, and prices are steep despite the favorable exchange rate. But I really want to hike Landmannalauger, tour the Skaftatell glacier and check out Dimmuborgir. And I want to eat the tasty fermented shark meat known as hakarl! I have to figure out ways to mitigate these obstacles. There are new (to me) glaciers and volcanoes waiting!

But New Zealand, stop whispering “come back and finish driving the Thermal Explorer Highway and climb Mt. Ngauruhoe again and go Schweebing – you know you want to!” in my ear. You’re really not helping.

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Most of the time, I travel to get away from people. I want to wrap myself in solitude and scenery.

But I’ve been thinking lately about a little change of pace. Sure, I still love the outdoors and all the cool flora and fauna. So it might surprise you that I think it’d be really fun to go to the Wacken Open Air Festival in northern Germany.

Seeing Metal Mined the Right Way

See, we Americans rarely get to see the world’s best heavy metal bands. When they do visit, they’re often playing to crowds a tenth the size of what they’re used to in Europe. And the genre is really on life support here in the states, with most of the better domestic bands consigned to the underground.

But look at the Wacken lineup! Everything from classics like Doro and Anthrax to Epica, Gamma Ray, Hammerfall and Amon Amarth. And I’m leaving out so many! Let’s put it this way: Whether you screaming, singing, growling or grunting, there’s at least a few bands there to represent your metal sub-genre. The masters from the beginning will be there, too – all the original dudes from Black Sabbath, but fronted by Ronnie James Dio in their Heaven & Hell guise; this may seem like heresy, but I’ll take Dio over Ozzy any single day.

A Crowd to Remember

There’s something else I love about European bands: They exude enthusiasm. Most American metal bands act like playing a gig is about as fun as a difficult bowel movement.

The Euro bands are cut from a different stripe. They’re playing heavy music, but having a lot of fun doing it. Maybe the grunge era and its tendency toward self-importance never sickened Europe’s shores. Whatever the reason, when a band is having fun, so is it’s audiences. Europe’s bands seem to excel at that, even when visiting Phoenix in August!

I imagine the crowds must be similar, so I’d really like to take in the people-watching at Wacken. From some of the photos I’ve seen, Wacken looks like a collision between Burning Man, the Bay to Breakers race in San Francisco and … well, a concert, obviously!

A Little Music Travel for Me?

I do kind of wish Wacken was more in the fall, that way I could also take in some Bundesliga fussball action. But still, this is a trip I just might have to take sometime …

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Sherry Henry is the new Arizona Office of Tourism director, recently appointed by Governor Jan Brewer. Her goal is to get more people to visit Arizona. She recently answered some questions posed by The Arizona Republic. I think she missed a great chance to address some real issues, so I’d have to give her a grade of C.

There were three particular questions in her interview that I wish I could’ve answered for her: Getting foreign travelers to Arizona, helping Arizona residents find more of the state’s unsung treasures and identifying her favorite place in the state. Really, I think Henry needs to think more like a traveler. She needs to better understand the obstacles people face in getting here, and she needs to know that there are many alternatives that offer much of what Arizona does – golf, shopping and sun. And those need to stop being the main weapons in her arsenal.

If Henry wants travelers to visit Arizona, she must start with Phoenix Sky Harbor International (in name only) Airport

Sky Harbor needs more than a daily flight from London to make Arizona a major tourism player.

One lousy daily flight to London along with a few to Canada and Latin America do not a true international airport make. The lack of international flights should deeply embarrass the officials of America’s fifth-most populous city.

People want to get to their destinations quickly, with as few stopovers as possible. Henry identifies her craving for French, Japanese and German tourists – but she doesn’t say “I’m going to work with Sky Harbor officials to do everything possible to get Air France, JAL and Lufthansa flying to Phoenix weekly, if not daily.” And it works both ways – Arizona residents also want to fly directly to France, Japan and Germany without stopping in LA , New York or Chicago.

Visit state parks! Shop! Dine! Welcome to Generica!

Promote Arizona's distinct beauty more, pimp shopping and golf less.

On my recent visit to Auckland, a Kiwi asked me about some cool, out-of-the-way places to see. I directed her to Colossal Cave, SP Crater and the Chiricahua Mountains. And I’m not the damn state tourism director! I certainly didn’t give generic answers. Henry must, must, must do better. She keeps 40 years of Arizona living too close to her chest – and seriously, can we not shop, dine and play golf just about anywhere? Henry needs to embrace the state’s distinctive features, not those that can easily be trumped by Melbourne or Singapore. And yes, either of those cities will spank Arizona from a shopping and dining perspective without raising their heartbeat.

“Sigh … I just loves me some sun”?

While riding a ski lift at Snowbowl with a visiting Australian, I asked him about his favorite spots in Arizona. I got a nice rundown of outdoor stuff, plus a few local hangouts. He also answered better than Sherry Henry. She needs to give this question better thought, and needs to give a response that gives someone some real action they can perform. Believe it or not, awesome sunsets are found in many place on the planet. Arizona is not alone.

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So how many times do you talk to people about traveling, and they’ll say “I wish I could go (fill in the blank”?

Well, if there’s ever a time to do that awesome trip, this is it. Oil is cheap. The economy sucks, which means that airlines are doing all sorts of stuff to get your butt in a seat. The economy is also making it tough for those who don’t have trust funds, but seriously: prioritize. Cancel your cable for a few months. Eat a bit less sushi. Get a cheaper cell phone. Put off buying that enormous flat-screen monitor. Drink less beer. Put that bike you never ride on Craigslist. Sell your plasma. Do whatever it takes and take advantage of a nice combination of a relatively strong dollar and cheap flights.

For instance, round trips from LA to Sydney on Qantas are about $750. That’s ludicrous, and it means you can’t afford NOT to go. You’ll come away with far more memories and stories than watching HBO, that’s for sure.

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Superman's bedroom? Nope, it's the ICEHOTEL!

About a year ago, I talked to a teenager who made an awesome visit to Sweden. He went there to stay at the ICEHOTEL, up in the very far north part of the country. He was a very clever guy who works part time as an architectural draftsman, so he was really fascinated about the idea of a hotel carved each year from ice and snow. He first learned about the ICEHOTEL in a documentary on The Discovery Channel.

It was also his first time traveling out of the country, so I have to give him a lot of credit for being bold enough to spent the better part of 24 straight hours in the air. And even better … from the airport, it was something like 30 miles by dogsled to get to the ICEHOTEL!

Here’s a bit more about the hotel:

It has some permanent, heated rooms. But the really awesome rooms are cold rooms, which workers build each year using blocks of ice from the nearby River Torne. The rooms stay at temperatures from 28 to 40 degrees F.

Each room, according to my source, had a “serene blue glow” from LEDs in the icy walls; the hotel’s silence added to the serenity. He slept on a bed made from ice covered in reindeer fur. The staff wakes guests up each day with a steaming cup of lingonberry juice, which is supposed to do wonders for keeping you warm.

There are some expeditions you can arrange from the hotel. Jukkasjärvi is pretty cold, though, so you really have to bundle up. I heard about some pretty awesome back-country dogsled trips. The food sounds tasty, too … I really want to try reindeer brisket!

Oh, something else: The cold rooms don’t have their own bathrooms. You have to get bundled up, tromp outside and go into the heated area. Can you imagine having to get up in the middle of the night for that? (Shivers)

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Comments

• February 4, 2009, Kenya Travel Safari writes: This is very cool i can just imagine how it can be like in the ice hotel. Nice post
• February 6, 2009, Ratty writes: It sounds like an adventure of a lifetime, but I'm not sure I would want to sleep in that cold. I'd still love to see that hotel though.
• February 6, 2009, wanderingjustin writes: Sounds like the heated rooms would be for you! For me, the worst would be waking up in the middle of the night and having to get dressed to use the toilet. But I just may give it a go anyway ... one of these days.
• June 26, 2010, Jason Dawson writes: Love the photos, warning don't eat wanderingjustin's yellow ice
• June 12, 2011, aljun83 writes: This blog was cool. A lot of fun if you experienced to go to Sweden and stay at the Icehotel. I want to try it. It's really cool. I love the photos posted from this blog.
• June 21, 2011, Tom writes: All I can say is Wow..I haven't heard a hotel like this one, its so unique and really cool. I wish to come in Sweden and explore that very nice hotel, I love cold places and I'm sure that I would love to stay there..Great share.
• August 28, 2011, New study shows that Florida’s reefs cannot endure a ‘cold snap’ | mitchellruben writes: [...] charlotte nc 311 amtrak ben bernanke Share this:TwitterFacebookLike this:LikeBe the first to like this post. This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. ← Hello world! [...]

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