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Former Arizona Republic Writer’s Blog: Great Reading

WanderingJustin — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 02:24:21 +0000

Journalism in Phoenix sucks. We have one bland uber-paper, a pugnacious free weekly (brave, but in dire need of editing), a bunch of chicken-dinner rah-rah community rags.

That’s it. For one of the largest metro areas in the nation.The the uber paper – The Arizona Republic – and the lamented and lost-in-all-but-name East Valley Tribune has some outstanding people. A longtime colleague and friend pointed me out to a blog by someone called the Rogue Columnist.

My friend recommended a post about Maryvale, a declining neighborhood in the West Valley. I clicked. I read. I nodded. I said “damn, this guy is good. Who is this?”

None other than John Talton, former columnist for The Arizona Republic. Most of the time, he wrote about real estate. As a young breaking news writer, the topic wasn’t really my bag. But John … he always views things through a different prism. After getting roped into a few of his columns, his byline became a hallmark of quality. If he wrote it, I read it.If you like real estate, read Rogue Columnist. If you like architecture, read Rogue Columnist. If you like excellent writing, read Rogue Columnist.

Just to give The Arizona Republic credit for now and then hiring someone with real ability, let me point out Norm Frauheim. As a sportswriter, I mostly knew his work covering boxing. I honestly don’t care about boxing. But I was probably at lunch and in dire need of reading material – so I read one of his stories. And he roped me in, time after time. If he bothered to write it, he wrote it well.

Journalism in Phoenix is stuck in a mentality that mashes Ricky Bobby’s “If you’re not first, you’re last” credo with the celebrity and sex-driven world of Idiocracy. How much better might our local media be if The Arizona Republic cultivated people, enhanced their skills, gave them room to write? Online breaking news and being the first to Tweet is great … but great writing born from deep thought, solid reporting and perspective would trump it.

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Life Force of Mountain Biking: The Beginner

WanderingJustin — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 03:24:13 +0000

The view from your bike got you jaded? Talk to a beginner for a reality check.

Mountain biking got you burned out? Are the local trails getting dull? Look to beginners for your salvation in your favorite sport.

New mountain bikers remind the old hands of the way it’s supposed to be: silly fun, learning new stuff, discovering new places, meeting new people, making incremental progress.

I know plenty of way-fast riders, like all the characters I encounter in the Short Track at Papago races. And they’re all good people. But beginners like Tammy Smith do more than anyone to rekindle my mountain biking enthusiasm. They help me rediscover the sport and inspire me to ride more.

Tammy did a Q & A session with me on Examiner.com just after her first race – the MBAA McDowell Meltdown. It’s full of mountain biking wisdom for riders of all levels. Veterans will get a reminder of what’s so cool about the sport. Newcomers will get inspiration to try racing. People contemplating their first mountain bike purchase will discover that it’s not just a sport for energy drink-addled 20-somethings, nor exclusively for heart rate monitor-obsessed fitness fiends. They don’t train – they ride.

Tammy and riders like her also make the bicycle industry work economically. They throw down for their first bike and all the trimmings – helmets, hydration packs, gloves, shorts and the rest. They are why your 27-pound, 30-speed, five-inches-of-travel, dual-suspension bike works so much better than bikes for the same price did 10 years ago.

Mountain biking newbies, you are the marrow of this sport. Thanks for all you do to keep it fresh for the rest of us. Welcome!

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Haggis Continues to Elude Me

WanderingJustin — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 01:29:48 +0000

Haggis, sweet haggis! (By Jonathunder)

This is the continuing food voyage of Wandering Justin. My ongoing mission – to find strange new foods, to seek out new ingredients both plant and animal, to boldly eat whatever some crazy cook puts in front of me.

I’ve lived up to these words. Wherever I travel, I find the strange, squishy, pungent and putrid. And I eat it with a smile … with the exception of one thing: haggis.

For five years – as long as it took the Enterprise to zoom through the galaxy in the original series – I have pursued haggis. But this Scottish signature concoction of sheep innards and the Highlander’s original blend of spices simmered in the stomach of a wee sheep has eluded me.

I found a restaurant serving it in the Australian town of Katoomba, just steps away from the train station. But sure enough, it was closed by the time I finished hiking. I figured I’d get it before I took the train back to Sydney. No dice – my departure time from the Blue Mountains was … before the restaurant opened for the morning.

Back in merry ol’ Flagstaff, I thought for sure I would be victorious. It was the weekend of the Scottish Highland Games! But wouldn’t you know it? The fickle demon that is northern Arizona weather smashed its mailed fist through the event. Sheets of rain and jet-blast winds stole my shot at haggis.

The Highland Games came to Phoenix, though, just last spring. And surely I had a winner, right? Well, I rolled into the event with haggis – and only haggis – on my mind. I shook down every food vendor. I all I could find was some abomination of the original called chicken haggis. It’s enough to make Duncan MacLeod’s head fall off! I think I may have even seen a haggis burger. My inquiries for the real thing got me strange “why would you want to eat that?” stares. Nobody had the real-deal haggis, perhaps because its import into the United States is, in true nanny-state fashion, illegal. Why not just make it here? Or just allow it to be imported? Is it any worse than the goop that becomes a Big Mac?

To console myself, I tossed a trainee’s version of a caber, along with some stones. I flung hay bales with a pitchfork over a goal post thing. But I didn’t eat haggis. Yet again, defeated.

I can only conclude that the haggis gods hate me. My only hope would be an invitation to a Burns family party; blogger Mary Lee writes that the other guests are finding excuses to NOT eat the haggis. Invite me, and I’ll show them how it’s done!

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Save Phoenix Views: Now Serving Spam

WanderingJustin — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 18:10:21 +0000

Don't worry, Phoenix citizens! Save Phoenix Views will protect your view of this magnificent, er ... nice, um ... somewhat adequate skyline! (Photo courtesy of www.pdphoto.org)

People in Phoenix, Arizona, now have another busybody political group inundating their email accounts with unwanted spam messages. I received my first message from SavePhoenixViews.com on Jan. 20.

The group touts its mission to “protect views” and “pristine Phoenix neighborhoods.” Its sworn enemy? Billboards. These slabs of advertising are apparently a threat to “unobstructed views of the skyline, mountains, sunrises and sunsets from your backyard.” Yes, that world-renowned Phoenix skyline … it’s the stuff of postcards and fine works of art. The group wants to ensure that such architectural wonders as the Chase Bank building aren’t hidden behind new billboards or electronic billboards.

I had never heard of this group of superheroes so intent on defending my way of life. I never signed up for its email newsletter. Since I also receive unsolicited emails from Phoenix City Council member Sal DiCiccio, I wondered if this is connected to his brand of small-time Phoenix politics. About a year ago, a group he backed also had me on its e-mail list. And wouldn’t you know, it only took 30 seconds of Google searching to discover a link between DiCiccio and Save Phoenix Views. Clearly, e-mail privacy is not one of his pet crusades. The best thing about my move to Scottsdale is that Sal DiCiccio is not on the Scottsdale City Council.

I’m embarrassed for the people behind Save Phoenix Views. Worries about billboards are the epitome of a “First World Problem.” What’s really this group’s motivation? My bet is money. Someone stands to lose, so they’re organizing a “grassroots” campaign to stop the evil billboards (someone puh-leeze save us!). Anyone with an ounce of political knowledge will tell you: Behind every so-called grassroots neighborhood movement is money and hired PR guns dressing it up all folksy and down-home. I haven’t figured out the money trail yet, but it has to be there considering the efforts to the group has made and the money it has spent. It would be nice to see a full-time journalist with time and resources put Save Phoenix Views under the microscope (hint, hint – that’s my Bat Signal to The Arizona Republic).

The e-mail I received came to me “via politicalcommunicationsspecialists.com.” Naturally, I went to the URL … and got a white screen with the words “Could not locate requested resource”.

This means someone is hiding. Typical dirty Phoenix politics. So far, 15,000 people have signed a petition to get the group’s wad of “Whereas”, “Notwithstanding” and “Therefore” on the ballot. It’s been nearly a decade since I was a news reporter – but I remember a Maricopa County official who told me every item on the ballot costs upward of $200,000. Does Phoenix have that kind of money to spend on non-problems?

The group also wrings its hands about higher accident rates from drivers being distracted by electronic billboards. I’ll swallow that line of BS only if every single person who signed the petition will look me in the eye and say “That’s right, I’ve never used my cell phone or texted/e-mailed while I drive.” I’d bet a year’s pay that phone use distracts far more drivers and causes far more accidents than electronic billboards do.

Who could, in good conscience, put such energy into such a trifling cause? A few suggestions for more important matters: Address the many empty buildings, the waste of water, the unsustainable building, the tax handouts to big businesses.

I also sent an e-mail to the group asking to know how I wound up on its distribution list. Let’s see if anyone responds.

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Inside South Korean Spa Culture

WanderingJustin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 07:08:18 +0000

A daytime view of the inside of Spa Land at Centum City in Busan. (Courtesy of Saunasinkorea,blogspot.com)

In some countries, spas are a rare indulgence. In Korean culture, though, they’re essential to the social scene.

And there’s plenty of variety. Some South Korean spas – or jim jil bang – are tranquil and soothing, like Spa Land at Centum City in Busan (the architecture there is also stunning). Other spas are a displaced section of a Las Vegas casino that’s collided with a World Wrestling Entertainment-style road show. You’ll find common themes and etiquette expectations no matter where you wind up, though. Something else cool: It’s easy to find cheap spa breaks, as low as $15 U.S., to lounge around for a few hours.

Let’s run through what a South Korean spa is like:

The Entry

There’s typically a front desk area. You’ll pay your fee and get a key, some slippers and a robe/pullover sort of thing. If you’re with a person of the opposite gender, this is where you head to separate locker rooms. Keep that key with you at all times: You also use it to buy food and drink. It tallies your purchases electronically, and you settle up at the end. It beats toting your wallet around with you, too. Yes, Korean culture can be pretty hi-tech!

Another nice view of the interior of Spa Land. (Courtesy of visitkorea.or.kr)

The Locker Rooms

This is where a lot of Americans might have trouble – the nudity here is pretty explicit … typical for Korean culture, but some travelers might find it odd. First you shower, then head (still naked) into the steam room, the hot tubs and the saunas. Westerners like me might also scratch their heads over some of the local showering customs: Apparently, a lot of Koreans prefer to shower seated. That explains the low shower heads in the hotels!

The Common Area

Done with the saunas? Put on the spa garb the front desk people issued during check-in. Meet your opposite-gender friend(s), and hit the many relaxing rooms. Like what?

There are several rooms common to South Korean spas, each of which have a different flavor and purpose. This post sums up the characteristics of the jim jil bang pretty nicely. One of the most interesting rooms was pyramid shaped, which I associate more with Egyptian culture than Korean culture.

Final Thoughts

Do your homework when choosing a South Korean spa. Some frown upon children, while others welcome them. Korean culture can be pretty sedate, but sometimes it embraces the noise. The adults-only establishments, though, will be quieter. Whichever you prefer, there’s something for everyone. But know what you’re getting into.

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Have You Thanked a Pilot Lately?

WanderingJustin — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 04:32:26 +0000

Thank a random pilot or flight attendant sometime. They deserve it. (photo borrowed from Rand Peck's excellent blog at randpeck.blogspot.com)

Even at 9 p.m. on a Saturday, there’s a buzz at Incheon Airport … the kind only found at a major intercontinental airport. I walk the concourse just to bask in it awhile longer.

I wind up walking next to an airline pilot. He’s close to 60, sports a bit of a paunch. He wears a “here we go again” expression on his face.

“So where are you headed tonight?” I ask.

The pilot’s expression transforms. He tells me he’s headed for a city in China – he’s more specific, but it’s a city I’ve never heard of. And then he’s bound for a few more just like it. He asks about my trip. I run him through a four-sentence synopsis of my last few weeks.

As we walk, we reach a hallway – and it’s clear that’s where he’s headed. So I wish him a good trip and tell him “Hey, thanks for flying and getting us all around the world.” He thanks me, smiles, heads off to get to work.

A long-haul cabin - it's where I love to be.

I hope he remembers this the next time someone crabs about late flights, cramped seats and bad food. I can tell my words surprised him – but in a god way. So next time you have a chance, thank a pilot or a flight attendant … and it’s even better if it’s not one from your own plane. Let a random airline professional know that you have some appreciation for their role in opening the world up to you.

I’ll go first – if you work for an airline, thank you. You’re not perfect – but neither am I. And if not for you, I wouldn’t see Australia, New Zealand, Iceland, Asia and many other incredible places to come. Thanks!

Comments

December 14, 2011, flight attendant HQ writes: Yes I totally agree with you, we should be thankful that we arrived safe after a long and stressful journey, and that someone takes good care of us while were on board.
January 22, 2012, Rand Peck writes: Thanks for using one of my pics on your blog, I was very pleased to see it when a friend passed it along. Now, that wasn't me that you referred to with "a bit of a paunch" was it? This is a two way street though, we as airline employees also need to thank our passengers too. After all, they afford me the lifestyle that I've grown accustomed to. Thanks, Rand
January 22, 2012, WanderingJustin writes: Rand, thanks so much for dropping by. And I promise you are not the paunchy pilot I mentioned! I wish everyone who has harsh words for airline employees would drop by your blog. It would open their eyes to the professionalism and enthusiasm that is common throughout the industry. Happy flying!

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GUEST POST – 5 Things I’ll Miss About Peru

WanderingJustin — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 03:01:03 +0000

This is a guest post from Nichole, one of my favorite bloggers around. I like her unusual focus on architecture and her stories about being an ex-pat in Lima. Check this out, and be sure to visit her site at architecturetravelwriter.com.

For a couple weeks now I’ve been contemplating what I’m longing for of home, but what I’ll miss of Lima, Peru, has begun to hit me. The sentiment of leaving this city weakens my heart and mind. Surely it’ll peak to sadness in the coming weeks. Here’s a few things I’ll miss.

Five– Arts and Diversity

When I return to the States, I’ll be staying in a town whose ethnic diversity holds as much excitement as a box of white chalk. Conversely, Peru celebrates life with color. The buildings are colorful. Combinations I’ve never encountered from trips around the world present themselves in the clothing, art, and architecture. The music, rich with diversity, seems to throw color into the air, as does the tropical flora and tropical cocktails.

Four– Castellaño

Speaking Peruvian Spanish, or Castellaño, feels good and natural. While I’ve surprised myself in not taking classes to refresh what I learned in undergrad, I’ve found it does of course return naturally. In fact I have improved. But I’m contemplating hiring someone from the local Mexican restaurant for conversational Spanish upon returning to the States.

Three– Perufume

Limeños smell damned good, especially the men. Unlike what I experienced in China and India, the profuse application of colognes, perfumes, and deodorant seems as important to the Limeños (people from Lima) as eating. Some cultures I’ve experienced in my three years of serial expatriatism make smelling good seem avant garde. Here, as I read in a Mario Vargas Llosa book written in the 1950s, even maids from the sierra and the selva (mountains and jungle) used talcum powder to prevent odors. I’ve come to call the Limean scent Perufume.

Two– Walkability

Walkability makes a body feel good. Neighborhoods are easy to walk about in. Within five minutes I can be at a bodega or supermarket, a cafe or restaurant, a neighborhood parks or my office, or a busstop. Walkability grants not only much-warranted exercise, it also opens opportunities to find new places to chill, check out guapos (good looking men), or catch yet a different species of brilliantly feathered bird.

One– Architecture

The tightly knit diversity of architectural styles rendered me breathless upon arrival from the US six months ago. From where I currently sit in Miraflores, one of Lima’s more affluent neighborhoods, an Art Deco cathedral appears to my left, some Spanish-filtered Moorish houses to the left. Also around the city numerous examples of Brutalism, Mid-Century Modernism, Republicanism, and indigenous designs echoing the irregular shapes of Machu Picchu architecture can be found. Not a day passes when a house or building breaks my step and forces me to stare in awe. Not normally inclined to take snaps, my photo collection has grown like guppies in a fishbowl.

What I’ll miss about Lima is a topic I’m unwilling to delve into during the last few weeks I’m here. Instead, for now, I’m reveling in the aspects I enjoy.

Nichole L. Reber is turning over her journalist leaf to explore her talents as a creative nonfiction writer. She writes about architecture, art, travel, and the realities of expat life for magazines, blogs, and bathroom walls. So far on her list of lived-in countries are China, Hong Kong, India, and Peru. She plans to return to Peru, exploring beyond Lima, in January.

Comments

December 21, 2011, Nichole L. Reber writes: Oh jeez. I think I'm blushing. ;) Grazie molta. Or more geographically appropriate, muchas gracias.
December 21, 2011, Nichole L. Reber writes: You know I noticed this a couple days ago: you changed your background. Did you enlarge it somehow? Really pops out now. 3d like. Ah, speaking of 3D I heard the cutest Chinglish phrase whilst living in China. "San" means three in potungua (Mandarin). One business man is talking about David Cameron's 3D flick with another during English class. "You must see it. The sanD is great!" Sandy from Grease? Another thing I liked about Chinglish was the way the young women said OMG. "Oh!" Pause" My GOD!" Sounded like eight-year-old trying to be adults. Too cute!

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Asiana Airlines – Review of 5 Flights

WanderingJustin — Thu, 20 Oct 2011 02:05:16 +0000

Rolling to the gate next to an Asiana 747 at Tokyo Narita.

You know you’re on a cool airline when one of your breakfast options is spicy octopus with rice.

This is just eight hours into my handful of Asiana Airlines flights spanning the Pacific, with shorter flights to Jeju Island and Tokyo. During these five flights, I got to know Asiana pretty well. And I have some impressions to share about how Asiana Airlines scores for international flights. I admit, I have no other Asian airlines to compare it to. But it stacks up well for any airline.

1. Let’s loop back to that food. Other meals including a traditional bi bim bap, bulgogi, and tempura chicken and shrimp. Most of the meals included fresh fruit. Hands down, it was the tastiest and healthiest airline food I’ve ever encountered. It easily dethrones the Qantas meals, which were decent but nothing memorable. But I’ll never forget spooning marinated beef, bean paste and rice into a huge lettuce leaf, folding it into a burrito and munching away. I was more than a bit amused that, half the time, the flight attendants didn’t ask if we wanted to the squeeze tubes full of tasty hot chili sauce. They probably hadn’t encountered many Arizonans … many of us crave spiciness in any form.

The Travel Class cabin of an Asiana 777

2. In-flight entertainment was everything it should be for international flights. I caught up on my silly superhero movies, plus the latest Star Trek. No hiccups from the equipment at all, and it was easy enough to work. I might’ve expected Asian airlines to be even more slick and hi-tech. But it was just solid, no-fuss equipment.

3. The cabins were immaculate whether I was aboard an A320 or a 777. Asiana’s 767s are probably no spring chickens, but they looked great. A question for Asiana – I could’ve sworn our 1:30 flight (Oct. 15) from Narita to Incheon was a 767 configured in 3-3-3 rather than the usual 2-3-2. Was I overdosing on the spicy chili sauce, or is that some unusual 767?

4. From the check-in counter to the cabin, every Asiana employee was helpful and welcoming – no exceptions. They were all efficiency, and they said everything with a smile. They weren’t quite as jocular as Air New Zealand or Qantas, but who is?

Dinner is served - bi bim bap! I usually take other travel bloggers to task for posting food photos - but I think this warrants breaking my own rule. I mean, steamed pumpkin, kimchi, fresh veggies ... that's out-of-the-ordinary!

5. There was a bit of weirdness the moment our flight pushed back from the Tom Bradley International Terminal at LAX on Sept. 30. We’d only moved a few feet when I felt the plane lurch. This led to a few announcements about tire changes, which made us a bit more than two hours late. I didn’t mind, even though international flights are long enough with no delays. I took advantage of the time to read and doze. I’m really curious about what it takes to change tires on a 777 at the gate. Kind of cool, really! Oh, and props to my mostly Korean fellow passengers. They took the delay announcements in stride.

6. There are only two things that prevent me from flying Asiana Airlines every chance I get: First, Seoul is its only hub. Second, I always love trying a carrier based in the country I’m visiting. So if I go to another Asian country, I’d want to fly some different Asian airlines just to sample its airborne culture. Asiana’s competitive fares and excellent in-flight service would give me second thoughts about booking on another airline if it’s possible to use them, though.

Our ride ... with all the sweet hook-ups.

7. Something else odd – most of our international flights were only about 75 percent full. The busiest ones were the flights to and from Tokyo. But the trans-Pacific flights had plenty of empty seats. That’s very nice, of course, since it gave Sarah and I some room to stretch out.

8. In one way, Asiana Airlines might learn from fellow Asian airlines JAL and ANA: Both these Japanese airlines sell small trinkets with their logos on them at Narita. Asiana should do the same at Seoul. I would definitely add an Asiana t-shirt to my collection of airline stuff – if one was available.

I can honestly say that Asiana deserves its Skytrax Airline of the Year award for 2010. I always insist that getting there is part of the fun, and that my vacation truly starts when I step aboard the plane for international flights. Asiana did everything right and put the Republic of Korea’s best foot forward. Maybe next time, I’ll get to try some other Asian airlines, too.

Check out Asiana Airlines on Twitter!

Comments

December 7, 2011, Nichole L. Reber writes: You're far superior to me at knowing not only which airlines to fly and which planes you're in. All I can say about my flights in the East are that it's conducive to my vegetarianism. Not only can I rely on getting proper veggie food (I'm ovo-lacto-pesce), I can also opt for a variety of veggie cuisines (because of the local religions, of course). Delight! The most recent flight I took with an airline from our own country didn't even have a single veggie meal on board. "Here, take this. You can just ignore the chicken," was the response from an airline attendant who at least helped in some sense. Good thing I wasn't hungry.
December 7, 2011, WanderingJustin writes: Intercontinental flights just make me so freakin' giddy that I almost embarrass myself. Almost ... I embrace my dork status!

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High School Reunion, Tokyo Style

WanderingJustin — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 06:53:32 +0000

David Zee Frenchman and Wandering Justin in Tokyo, catching up on nearly 20 years.

I have a lot to say about my trip to the Republic of Korean and Japan – including hikes, cityscapes, people and a whopping dose of enlightenment.

For now, though, here’s my major highlight – a reunion with a high school friend I hadn’t seen in 19 years. Davíd (aka Zee Frenchman), myself and Farhad – whose parents are from Iran – were pretty much Larry, Moe and Curly … though we had an occasional Shemp and Joe along. Throughout my junior and senior years of high school, we ate lunch, went bowling and engaged in fun verbal fisticuffs. By the time Davíd returned to France (after nearly being my college roommate), I felt like part of his family. Farhad actually did join me for a year in the ASU dorms.

I found Davíd online a few years ago and we had some sporadic contact. Just weeks before our trip, Sarah said “hey, isn’t The Frenchman in Tokyo?” YES! The light bulb went off, and I sent messages to not only his last-known email address, but his sister’s, too. It so happened that I sent it to one of those addresses people have and rarely check (I’m also guilty). By a stroke of luck, he happened to check it. And the reunion was on!

When we checked into the Sakura Hotel near Jimbocho Station, one of the managers came out and informed “Sarah-san” that a friend was looking for us. Moments later, David was there. Sarah returned from a quick freshen-up to find us about to dive into iced coffees before heading out on a quick jaunt of Tokyo sites.

Farhad, David Zee Frenchman and Wandering Justin circa 1992. NOTE: My mullet is hidden as a ponytail in this shot.

Even after nearly 20 years, the rapport was still there – the jokes, the banter … but we also mined a thread of serious conversation as the day went from Electric Town to dinner with his wife, Mika (who makes one nice couscous!). We discovered a similar political direction and outlook on life, and I spied more than a few items on his book shelf that any visitor would also find on mine. Of course, he’s still a Magic: The Gathering-playing nerd!

Through it all, Sarah-san enjoyed a nice screen of two six-foot-two-plus gaijin trying to clear a path for her on the crowded Tokyo streets.

The sights and sounds themselves were something to behold. But even better? Having an old friend leading the way, reminding me of crazy things I said earlier in my life and forgotten (believe me, I returned the favor).

We ended the reunion at TY Harbor Brewing Company a few nights later, with Davíd treating us to some Japanese craft brew and tasty vittles. I look forward to welcoming him back to the States sometime to reconnect him to the rest of the old high school crew and to introduce him to some new friends (Beware, Stacy … your reputation precedes you).

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Washington State Wonder – The Ape Cave Lava Tube

WanderingJustin — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 06:07:50 +0000

A skylight in The Ape Cave opens to the surface.

I’m just miles away from one of the biggest volcanic eruptions in modern history.

Mount Saint Helens. 1981. A blast that re-shaped the landscape in Washington.

Thirty years later … I’m crawling through a two-mile-long lava tube on its lower slopes. The Ape Cave, named for the Boy Scouts who explored it. Since then, hiking the Ape Cave has become one of the best reasons to visit Cougar, Washington. Some parts are epic in scope, with smooth, uniform walls – so perfectly formed and regular that it’s hard to believe that hardening lava and gravity were the only forces at work.

A lava formation in The Ape Cave. No, it doesn't look phallic. Why do you ask?

Other times, Sarah and I are on our bellies slithering through tight passages – or gingerly stepping over tall piles of volcanic rubble.

Go the Right Way

We are traveling the wrong direction, by the way. Most people start at the main cave entrance near the parking lot. They head upslope, emerging through a huge skylight. We did the opposite, taking the trail through the forest, crossing a snowfield (yes, even in late May), descending into the skylight.

It's not the dark I'm afraid of - it's the stuff in it that I can't see!

Heading down, we discovered, is actually harder. There are a few steep chutes that would actually be easier to climb then descend. My size is an asset here, allowing me to stretch to footholds that are harder for Sarah to reach.

But with our Petzl headlamps illuminating the cave, we move along – swiftly, even. We meet a few groups headed the opposite direction. One group raised our hackles a bit … someone in the party was smoking – an annoying faux pas. A French family lamented how long they’d been underground, but trudged on.

Things to Wear and Bring

And further we went. The cave, by the way, was cool. I wore a heavy pair of hiking pants, a base layer, a First Ascent Serrano jacket and a Marmot rain jacket. Condensation was falling from the cave ceiling during the entire two-hour trip from top to bottom, so the rain jacket was perfect.

This is where you should exit the cave - not enter like us!

The headlamps I mentioned – indispensable. But bring other light sources and batteries, too. You won’t need gloves, despite what some people might tell you. A bottle or two of water is a good idea. If you have a small tripod, bring it for some long-exposure photos.

Finishing Up

By the time we finished, the rain was falling heavier topside. We tried to drive around for a better (that is to say any) view of Mt. Saint Helens. But it was thoroughly socked in by fog. We wound up having an excellent pizza at the Kelso Theater Pub. If you’re looking something to munch on in Kelso, you can also catch a movie while satisfying your hunger. The Theater Pub also has a nice selection of local microbrews.

This is the ladder that starts your journey.

The Ape Cave isn’t a hard journey – it’s not technical or as tight a fit as other caves I’ve visited. But it’s fun, and a really cool example of volcanism at work. It’s length can make it a touch monotonous, especially if you’re hungry. But I enjoyed it, and I would recommend to anyone who’s OK being separated from the sky for a few hours.

Me near a field of volcanic rubble.

A slug I nearly squished accidentally. Isn't it cool?!

The forest near the Ape Cave are beautiful.

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